1989: get period at age 11 and have terrible cramps and pain from the very first day of the very first cycle
1991: meet my future husband for the first time. we are 13 and my mom is his teacher.
1991: meet my future husband for the first time. we are 13 and my mom is his teacher.
march 2004: my yearly obgyn exam raises suspicion and an u/s shows 2 large masses in my abdomen
june 2004: laparotomy to remove a suspected fibroid ends up removing my R ovary and tube, which were both eaten alive by a 20cm endometrioma that tipped my uterus back into my abdomen and adhesions that cause most everything to stick together. a general surgeon was called in to help remove adhesions and realign my organs. i am sewed up with my colon still adhered to the back of my uterus. all this earns me the automatic status of stage 4 endometriosis patient. lucky me.
when i woke up from surgery about 6 different doctors told me that if i wanted to conceive, then was the time. i didn't want to in the situation i was in then. and i stand by that decision 100% even today, 6 years later
when i woke up from surgery about 6 different doctors told me that if i wanted to conceive, then was the time. i didn't want to in the situation i was in then. and i stand by that decision 100% even today, 6 years later
s/p surgery i am also left with excruciating residual leg pain as well as a limp which lasts over a year.
august 2004: first visit with RE who tells me he could have saved my ovary if he had done the surgery. why didn't they call one? *shrug* i wish they had but i don't dwell on it.
i try every BCP under the sun and eventually lupron depot for 6 months. not much helps the endo or leg pain.
september 2006: see T again 11 years after we graduate from high school, first date with T, we start trying to conceive
march 2007: T proposes
august 2007: laproscopy/HSG shows L tube is still open, though twisted. L ovary is displaced and adhered to side of uterus.
december 2007: we become we
march 2007: emergency appendectomy
may 2007 through may 2009: continue trying naturally, have 3 IUI and start saving for IVF
january 2009: meet with new RE, (cheaper IVF than original RE, but very quality program) an amazing doctor. too bad i can't say that for the other doctors in his practice. start planning and continue saving for IVF.
june 2009: IVF #1 (minimal stimulation) works with 5 glorious eggs which all fertilize! we transfer an 8-cell and a morula and become pregnant with twins! first beta is 547. second beta is 1198.
october 20 2010: our beautiful girls are born too early at exactly 20 weeks gestation. we are instantly in love and heartbroken to have to say goodbye.
october 2010 till forever: grieve, grieve, grieve the loss of our beloved daughters
february 2010: T and i both get jobs that follow the NJ Infertility Mandate!
february 2010: T and i both get jobs that follow the NJ Infertility Mandate!
may 2010: sonohystogram is normal/IVF #2 (full stimulation) yields 7 eggs, only one of which fertilizes naturally. i end up in the emergency room after a painful retrieval day. we transfer our lone embryo and IVF #2 is a bfn
june 2010: we are currently underway with FET #1. we will use the frozen embryos left over from our daughters' cycle. we are hoping and praying to have success with them. *we transferred the only embryo that made it to thaw intact. it was a compacted morula.we are currently waiting to find out if we are pregnant with our miracle baby! BFN and it was really hard to let go to the closest thing to the girls we had left
** the night after beta i wake up at 3 am with excruciating L arm pain. i find out i have phlebitis from the IV in may and all the blood draws for back to back IVF/FET. benched myself for a couple months to give my veins a rest.
august 2010: go back to my old RE now that we have coverage and don't have any remaining embryos at the far away clinic. love him. he diagnoses me (via stim sheets from 2 IVFs) with what looks like PCOS minus the cysts
* start metformin and 20 iu daily lupron/bcps to quell my savage endo and prime my body for IVF #3
my husband is deployed overseas so im going IVF tres alone
he's home right now! hoping he will be here for # 4!
september 2010
4 YEAR TTC MARK do we get like a mug or a varsity jacket or something?
1: my sonohystogram shows polyps-need d&c
14: d&c/hysteroscopy - endo biopsy not necessary now.
29: endometrial biopsy
october 2010
IVF #3
1: start 225menopur/225follistim/20iu lupron
4: cd5/day 3 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 12, 7, 6. follistim upped to 300/night
6: cd7/day 5 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 16, 12, 9, 7, 6 step down lupron to 5iu and start hearing the dreaded 'c' word
8: cd9/day 7 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 19, 14.5, 11, 10.5, 10, 10, 8 aka the most follicles i have EVER had in a cycle before retrieval (some they can't see on u/s and you end up with bonus eggs!). too bad, IVF #3 is canceled 2 days before retrieval due to dominant follicle. fuck.
11 to 13: projected retrieval days
14 to 16: projected transfer days
11: start provera to bring on a period, continue lupron 5iu
20: a year since our babes were in my tummy or my arms. we miss both of them so much.
** the night after beta i wake up at 3 am with excruciating L arm pain. i find out i have phlebitis from the IV in may and all the blood draws for back to back IVF/FET. benched myself for a couple months to give my veins a rest.
august 2010: go back to my old RE now that we have coverage and don't have any remaining embryos at the far away clinic. love him. he diagnoses me (via stim sheets from 2 IVFs) with what looks like PCOS minus the cysts
* start metformin and 20 iu daily lupron/bcps to quell my savage endo and prime my body for IVF #3
he's home right now! hoping he will be here for # 4!
september 2010
4 YEAR TTC MARK do we get like a mug or a varsity jacket or something?
1: my sonohystogram shows polyps-need d&c
14: d&c/hysteroscopy - endo biopsy not necessary now.
october 2010
IVF #3
1: start 225menopur/225follistim/20iu lupron
4: cd5/day 3 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 12, 7, 6. follistim upped to 300/night
6: cd7/day 5 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 16, 12, 9, 7, 6 step down lupron to 5iu and start hearing the dreaded 'c' word
8: cd9/day 7 of stims: measurable follicles ~ 19, 14.5, 11, 10.5, 10, 10, 8 aka the most follicles i have EVER had in a cycle before retrieval (some they can't see on u/s and you end up with bonus eggs!). too bad, IVF #3 is canceled 2 days before retrieval due to dominant follicle. fuck.
11: start provera to bring on a period, continue lupron 5iu
20: a year since our babes were in my tummy or my arms. we miss both of them so much.
21: celebrate little A's 1st birthday...and thank our lucky stars for our beautiful nephew
25: finally get period
26: ultrasound shows three cysts (from un-ovulated follicles), benched again
november 2010
5: u/s shows one big cyst, down to 36mm from 45mm. the two little ones are gone
10: u/s shows cyst is larger (what the shit?) at 38mm - is aspirated that day. speculum and 5 needles in my vag the day before my birthday? sign me the fuck up!
15: monitoring shows my e2 (estradiol or estrogen) level is high, down to 150 from 300 on cyst aspiration day. e2 levels need to be under 75 to start an IVF cycle, but it's preferable that they be under 50. this is starting to get out of hand.
19: u/s shows a record high antral follicle count of 9! amazing! alas, e2 check shows a still-too-high level of 98.1, this is motherfucking ridiculous.
24:
23: i couldn't hold out, so a very convenient "meeting" came up for the 24th and i had to go in a day early for monitoring. unfortunately as soon as the wand was in, i saw all 3 cysts back again. i was told that if they weren't estrogen producing cysts, we would be able to start stims. i waited until 11am for the call that told me what i already knew, estrogen was back on the rise. i was told to stop the lupron and wait for a period. they are hoping that my body will reset itself. ill believe it when i see it.
december 2010
20: if i don't get a period naturally by this date i need to call for a rx of provera. i dont remember what happened here but im fairly sure that i got period before dec 20. get a period and am placed on levora (hi-dose bcps) for a month to hopefully! please! get rid of the gd cyst
january 2011
10: get period and go in for monitoring. DING DONG THE CYST IS GONE!! doctor d and i talk and decide to do a ganerelix cycle starting on jan 14th. im fucking psyched. we decide not to share this info with our families as they have been through enough with us. the death of our girls and then the1+ years of trying and failing for whatever reason to get pregnant again.
14:start stims for IVF #4
24: we get 4 eggs at retrieval, kind of a let down because they were tracking 10. oh well.
25: we get the call that 3/4 eggs fert normally-we have 3 embies!!
27: we wake up to 18 inches of snow, get stuck backing out of the driveway (we have an SUV) but still made it to the clinic for 8:30am transfer. we transfer two compacting morulas
february 2011
2: 6dp3dt, at 11pm, we get a + on a clearblue easy test. we sit here and smile weakly and tremble. we are back to square 1. i know that i am pregnant with twins again. call it mother's intuition.
8: i get the results of both betas. 1st was 300 and 2nd was around 800. even more sure about the twins.
ultrasound shows twins...right now im just living for every day i have healthy babies in my belly
june
8: our babies are born too early. again. incompetent cervix is finally diagnosed (don't know how or why it took 4 babies) we are just heartbroken and miss our girl and boy
august
26: transabdominal cerclage will be placed
