insult to injury

many times i have reflected on the one tiny-little-eetle-bitty shred of a bright side of this hell i call my reproductive life. the one that promised i'd never again be subjected to the awkward, unrefined and just plain gross practice of using male prophylactics. and the lesser bonus of not having to buy/decipher birth control pills with their many colored rows and rules about special sundays and crap.

thinking about that first freedom, i'd get all warm n fuzzy and give myself the ol' "at least you don't have to deal with that shit, huh? silly common fertiles with their nasty slimy rubbers!" and then i would enjoy exactly three seconds of triumph before i realized that it wouldn't be such a bad trade off, and come to think of it, it probably wouldn't be that much of an issue at all...and then i would go and eat a pack of cherry pop tarts and curse the universe. so yea, not the hugest conquest, but still! score .5 for the infertile girl.

well wipe the slate and score 1 for durex, because we are now a condom family. not sure really what/when it happened, but i do recall the RE mentioning it somewhere along the way and silently laughing it off/dismissing it, thinking he meant just IF we got preggers. 
but it was reiterated to both T and i at our last visit and made clear that they meant from now on, just in the case that one or both of us gets a yeast/bacterial infection so we don't pass to each other or more importantly a take home baby.

which brings me to rite aid...where i couldn't bring myself to buy condoms without purchasing a new pack of maxi pads. i don't know what kind of subconscious crap that was but i didn't fight it, 'specially since the ones i bought are so purty. and yup, i went for the heavy flow...cuz thas just how you roll when you're an endo-chick. now the pregnancy tests were thrown in mostly for shock value at that point, just to see if i could get a rise out of the 12 year old boy behind the counter...i can't imagine the thought process of this poor kid. like umm, TTC? youz duin it wrongz! sorry, i've been spending a lot of time on LOL DOGS lately. seriously though, i'm normally strictly a dollar store test kinda girl, so generic store brand is a step up for us. man, this post just keeps getting classier...

so we had our first foray into the world of contraceptives as a couple. certainly even as individuals, it had been a long time since either of us thought about buying condoms. and dude, $13+ bucks for a dozen! and after ahem, testing them out i have a few words for you since im sure at least 99% of you aren't using them/are laughing that we are: less gross, thinner, still strange, overpriced, lacking promised studs for my pleasure (i did buy the pleasure pack, because, obviously!) dumb and stupid and oh mah gah why me? i can't even do infertile right. 

and in case you thought they magically became wonderful pleasure sticks since you last used them, im here to tell you that nope, they still suck. that is all.